Sometimes, things happen exactly the way we need them to. Not always, not even often, but once in a while, all the pieces of your life come together just so.
This is relevant for a few reasons. First, this blog has been quiet again. Usually (with both this blog and with both of my day-job blogs) that happens when I’m not well. RA wreaks havoc with day jobs and kink indiscriminately. But I have good news. The RA has been largely behaving lately, thanks to the magical new medication I’m on, and my body has been more or less keeping out of my way (Yay!) I do have some things to discuss about the new Mirena IUD I am stylishly wearing these days and how it interfaces with my kink, but that’s a post for another day.
So, if my health is in line, why the quiet? The day job has been exploding. Master and I run our own business, and it’s been quietly humming along paying the bills for a couple of years now, but suddenly, these past few months, it has been keeping us more busy than we know what to do with. A particularly lucrative new contract has lined up with a particularly perfect lease on office space, which happened to line up just so with an old co-worker coming into our life who is interested in coming to work for us, and the alignment of these pieces has been nearly impossible to ignore. So, it looks like we’re going from our own cozy little outfit to a for-real and actual bricks-and-mortar business, complete with payroll and other clerical pieces that I don’t really want to think about. (I know, I know, I should be so jazzed with the chance to be a very subbie type secretary – it *is* my favorite movie in the world. And yet, in real life, I find the clerical stuff a bit less sexy, if we’re being honest…)
As we have become meteorically busy though, the space in our lives for ‘outside world’ kink has been almost non-existent. (I say outside world, because kinky bedroom time takes care of itself – after a certain window of time, it happens whether either of us planned it or not!) But munches, parties, our quest to try to make kinky friends of any kind, along with my plans of finding solidarity in the kinky blogging community have all been sidelined.
However, that worked out okay, because of our community situation. Let me explain. Last fall, we joined our local sex positive community center, a long standing pillar of the kinky community. I’d waited for years to join (thanks to our lack of babysitting options) but this place was on my radar years and years ago, when we moved to the area from across the country. I always knew I would join when the time was right, and could recite scheduled events from memory for years. Every time we drove by I’d point out the window and whisper to Master, “One day, that will be home!”
So, we joined, just in time to attend three events before the doors closed in preparation of a move to bigger, better facilities. From then until now, I have told myself “when they re-open, it will be time for us to start really taking part in the community.” Every month, I’d log on to the website and follow the news of the renovations in the new building, I’d keep tabs on the twin Dom / sub meeting groups that have been meeting an hour and a half away until the new center opens.
It has probably been a little longer than usual since I checked up on events, but Master and I have been expecting the grand opening this summer, so it was a bit of an unpleasant shock when I opened fet to see that the new building is a no-go. The community is crushed, and leadership of the group is ready to walk away and let someone new take over the group. I’d love to participate in that conversation, but honestly, I don’t feel like I got a chance to get enough roots to have a place at that table. I don’t even know how well we fit in this community – it’s really too soon to tell.
So. There are a lot of people in the area who are unhomed by this, and I suspect only a matter of time before our community finds a way to recover, but as someone having a fair bit of anxiety about joining any new social group, let alone a kinky one, I’m not sure what this means for our journey.
I know that an in-person community is important – I have felt so much better, in the past, when I was able to interact with people as my genuine self. That being said, as this door closes, in that helpful way life has, another door is opening.
Loving BDSM is my absolute favorite podcast in the world. When they went on hiatus recently, I was like an addict waiting for them to come back! So, it’s a lovely surprise that the ever entertaining Kayla Lords and John Brownstone return with a new website, including a forum. I’m hoping that I can find some piece of community there, at least enough to tide me over until the local community stops reeling over the loss of our center.
If you’ve never heard the podcast, check it out, they have a lot of good information to share, but more than that, for me Loving BDSM has already begun to help fill my need for normalcy in this lifestyle. Listening to the podcast is like having a conversation with a couple of good friends, who just happen to be kinky as fuck.
If you’ve heard the podcast, but haven’t listened lately, come join the community and check out the forum. I’m set up over there as BadBeauty. I’m off to post an introduction, hope to see some of you there.
(Next week, perhaps we’ll talk about Mirena. I’m hoping to gather some intel from other kinksters who have had experience with it.)